Although English is my least favorite subject and I actually hate writing when I have a specific prompt to write about, I really enjoy free-writing and being able to let my creativity thrive through words. For that reason, I have created a writing assignment in the assignment bank titled “Your Last Words.” As you will see if you click the link, the assignment is to think of a word or phrase that you would speak moments before you die and then create a story that leads up to why those are your last words. I have decided to do the assignment myself, so here we go..
“I never stopped loving you.”
It was a cold, rainy Monday morning and I was on my way to school at 6:15 sharp just like every other Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I don’t know what it was about that Monday but it just seemed different.
It had been a few months since I had last spoken to Connor so maybe that was it…I don’t know. I can’t distinguish any of my emotions anymore. Our breakup completely tore me apart and I find it very difficult, now, to find joy in anything that I do. These thoughts subside temporarily throughout the day and as I was driving to school I wasn’t thinking about him, for once.
I was concentrated on the road in front of me and the Taylor Swift playing on the radio. The rain was coming down really hard so I had to really focus on making sure I was in my lane and keeping a safe distance from the car in front of me. I looked to the left of the road to see a dead deer and was struck with sadness when I looked back to the center of the road to find brake lights and cars swerving to avoid missing the cars in front of them. I slammed on my brakes and luckily I was able to stop before nudging the car in front of me. I took a huge sigh of relief just moments before I checked my rearview mirror to see the car behind me unable to stop and seconds away from slamming me. I braced myself as best as I could and everything went black.
I woke up to bright lights and beeping machines. I opened my eyes and tried to lift my arm to wipe my face but I couldn’t move it. I tried my other arm and the same result. I began to panic when all of a sudden my mom poped into my sight and started crying.
“You’re awake!” She exclaimed and whipped her head around. “She’s awake! She’s awake!” Then they all started to pour in.
I was so confused. Where was I? What happened? I couldn’t talk because of a tube down my throat. The doctor came in a few minutes later and escorted everyone but my mother, father, and Connor out of the room. He said there were too many people in the room and I would get overwhelmed so he sent them on their way. He began to explain to me what had happened and how my recovery was going.
“You’re very lucky to be alive,” he said. Funny, because I didn’t feel alive at all.
After sending Connor out of the room, my parents sat down and began to talk to me. They never liked Connor, but I couldn’t say I blamed them. He hadn’t treated me right the whole 5 years that we were on and off. He never really grew up but I couldn’t help that I still loved him. He was everything to me and I just wanted them to see that.
The medicine made me nauseous and I threw up so that kind of ended the conversation with my parents but they allowed me some time alone with Connor, which I was happy for.
“I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t believe I’ve been so dumb over the years. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted and I can’t believe it has taken you almost dying to get me to realize that you’re the only one for me. I never want to let you go, please don’t go away anymore,” he said as he began to cry. I didn’t realize it until I saw his tears but I had been crying since he started talking. I missed him so much and I have always wanted to be with him. Through all the pain he had put me through, every little thing, I still wanted him to be my one and only. My heart started to beat fast and the machines started beeping out of control all of a sudden.
Connor’s gaze shifted from me to the machines and his face sank and he stood up with a terrified look on his face. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew I wasn’t going to pass up this chance. It took all the strength I had, and, believe me, it hurt like all hell, but I ripped the tube from my throat, thrusted my body to him and kissed him like I had nothing left to lose. Which I didn’t. I looked him right in the eyes and said “I never stopped loving you.” He hugged me with all his might and I felt my body go limp. My heart felt like it was ripping out of my chest and I couldn’t take it anymore so since I had gotten that off my chest, I decided to let it go.
Minutes later all monitors had stopped beeping, and the heart monitor straight-lined. The doctors told my parents that I had had a heart attack. My heart was too weak after the accident that the medication and stress was just too much for it. My doctor assured Connor that it wasn’t his fault but I can see that he still blames himself in the way he walks. I still watch over him, I know he’s broken.
Frankly, I’m broken too.
