For this assignment, I decided to do the Status Report assignment.

The remix I got was to change the media. A status report is usually written, but I could forsee one being done with audio. So, I warmed up audacity, cobbled together a script, hit the record button, and trimmed a couple awkward points via click, drag, and delete key.

The rough thing about remixing this assignment is that, as stated above, most audits are done on some readable content. This is so the subject can easily refer back to the report and quickly pinpoint areas of improvement. I wanted to have a good reason for doing this assignment in another media. That’s when I realized I could use my low-quality recording capabilities to get someone in trouble…

Audit reports are no fun when everything is hunky-dory. I am relatively happy I found a main issue to bore into with the FCC. The idea of letting them hear the ‘interference’ I felt was a great way to justify giving them an audit via audio.

No one is more qualified to give a status report than someone who can wander around your computer. Morlium, in a joint venture with Blair, has been directed to audit the Department of Health and Human Services. I took on this assignment because it is a good fit for multiple hosts.

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Our findings are not favorable. We have found that your infrastructure is completely vulnerable to beings capable of manifesting themselves within your computer infrastructure. Your deepest secrets are exposed, from your employees social security numbers to the embarassing photos.

Have you considered periodically wiping your system, moving it from place to place? Also, consider periodically causing a power surge on your system. We note that is very effective at keeping out unwanted intruders.

Furthermore, we have significant problems with your diagnostic equipment. Namely, they fail to diagnose anything. we have confirmation here that Blaire is a mess, and your instruments detected…NOTHING! If they were truly capable of diagnosing illness, they would have been able to at least given a clue as to what is wrong with Blair. We are not medical experts, so we cannot give suggestions as to how to fix this problem. We simply recommend that once you hire someone, you test your equipment in controlled trials to make sure it actually works. Such negligence is inexcusable.

Find attached several documents we found while auditing. Several of the attached merit criminal charges. see our comments on the actual forms.

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I have read a lot of the assignments, so in wandering around the available characters, I had an idea of who might work with what. I knew I wanted an audit that went very badly. Morlium could cover the computer side, in a very unique way as well. I needed a host that could add something extra, someone with something unique. Blair fit the bill perfectly, and so it was determined the audited agency would be Health and Human Services. This team was set up to make them fail, and fail they did.

Offical HHBA notice:

The Horrible Hosts Bureau of Awesome would like to take this time to officially announce that: Everything is cool.

During an internal meeting held last Monday it was brought into question whether or not everything was, in fact, cool. After conducting a week long investigation, it was determined that everything, thankfully, is cool.

During a mission briefing in the HHBA action command center, HH 5 made the statement, “That’s cool!” To which HH Morlium replied “Is it? I don’t think so…” This led to a four hour conversation during which the hosts tried to figure out exactly what this conversation was about, and thus, what was possibly cool/not cool.

After conceding that no one could remember exactly what it was they were arguing about, they decided to set the scope of the investigation to include everything. Many long nights, late lunches, and missed nap times later the team finally broke their silence earlier this morning in a statement submitted by Spooksy, which was just a napkin with ‘everything’s cool’ scribbled in crayon.

No word yet on the implications of this finding, or whether or not this has any bearing or relevance on anything important. But we’ll continue our non-stop coverage of this napkin until we find out.

I think I’ve decided going forward that the horrible hosts should be a crime fighting action team.  I think the premise is funny, and there’s a lot of fun to be had with the interactions of the different host personalities that we weren’t able to explore with the radio show.  This will give me an excuse to watch the characters grow on the other host’s pages, and also interact with my group more, which we also didn’t get to do much during the project.  It does feel weird to mess with other peoples characters though.  I don’t want to upset anyone by taking too much license with their idea, so with this work I’m just kind of dipping my toe in the water to see how it feels.