Last night my mom and I fell asleep watching a sad movie.  I think it was sad because she was crying, so I snuggled her and licked her face.  Her tears were really salty.  I really don’t know why she was so upset but I am worried about her.  I did not sleep well… there were strange sounds coming from outside that sounded like very angry people.  Usually I would bark to keep them away and protect my mom, but she told me to be very very quiet.

Usually in the mornings my mom wakes up and we dance together to my favorite sounds and then we go on a walk outside. I love walks. I love walking and smelling and walking and peeing on my favorite trees. They are my trees.

But today, we stayed inside and mom told me we could not play my favorite sounds and to be very quiet.  I am sad.  I want to go outside and go on a walk.

I am very worried about my mom. I can tell she wants to go outside too… but for now I will be a good boy and protect her from the angry sounding people outside.

Review:

This 4-person emergency kit was VITAL to our survival during the apocalypse.  It helped me and three of my loved ones get by while we figured out how to establish ourselves and find other survivors.  I highly recommend this to anyone trying to prepare themselves.  It included food, water, duct tape, pocket knife (included other tools that helped us eat and build), and  hand-crank power station that gave us some light for a limited time in the bunker.  If you want to protect yourself and your family from the apocalypse buy this survival kit!

(My submission for the assignment, The End is for Everything)

My name is Gordon and I’m a Tasmanian Devil. I’m not sure how I survived the end of the world, but I did- and IT. IS. AWESOME! I’m a solitary animal, meaning I prefer to live alone without other animals of my species around to bug me. They’re just all total devils and I can’t stand being around them. Now, I never have to worry!

I live in Tasmania, and it’s pretty fun. I’ll eat almost anything from baby kangaroos to vegetable matter, to roadkill. I’m not very picky. Since all of the other animals died, I get to eat whatever I want and I don’t have to share OR work for it since it’s already dead. Ahh, what a life.

I had a girlfriend which was cool, but since I’m a solitary animal I usually just hang around long enough to mate. Thanks for the fun times while they lasted, babe! Now I’m free and the world is my oyster. I run around all the time seeing the things, smelling the smells, eating the foods. Life is good.

This whole “end of the world” thing is basically the best thing to ever happen to me. I am so lucky! I can’t wait to live in pure bliss forever. So long, suckers. Gordon’s out.

All research found from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasmanian_devil#Feeding

All gifs found from: https://giphy.com

I go by Psycho. After all, that’s what everyone has been calling me since middle school. However, I don’t notice anyone laughing after they call me. Not since the apocalypse. I am a psychic overseer, and I use my ability to warn people when the zombies will be arriving where they set up camp. I personally live in a hammock because zombies can’t climb trees, but don’t tell anyone that.

This is a picture of my hammock, completely enclosed so zombies and bugs don’t bother me. Since everyone else is in cars or regular tents, they call me for help. The people I help might not be the sharpest tool in the shed.

I have always believed that by helping someone else today, you may also be helping yourself. Since I tell them how many days, or hours, they have to break camp and move on, they like me. I am “paid” mostly in food, but I will occasionally be given items like a deck of cards, which I play with in my hammock while they run from zombies. There’s no I in team, but there is one in zombIe, and I don’t want to be eaten by one.

I suppose some may describe me as sarcastic. I’m often told that I hit below the belt with my comments, but is anything honestly inappropriate when everyone is constantly running (well, walking quickly) for their lives? Being called Psycho doesn’t exactly mean I was well-liked as a kid, but the phrase makes it seem a little less odd that I live solitarily and that I am able to use my mind to see where zombies are and where they will go.

I do not wear a cape, but I am one step ahead at all times, and I have gained a tremendous amount of respect. I do not have to find food since it is provided to me, and life couldn’t be better. Well, it would be if zombies didn’t stand below my hammock all night. They are not quiet, and I need my sleep. After all, who would believe that a tired 18-year-old is a psychic overseer?

Amazon would not let me write a review since I have never purchased anything, but here is what I would write.

I cannot begin to tell you how ironic and useful this hot sauce has been. I spend most of my time hiding from zombies, but now I am able to peacefully eat while staring at even more zombies. I must admit that I was never a fan of hot sauce before the apocalypse, but all of the tasteless food has left me grateful for this saucy treat. A little bit goes a long way in flavoring up the snakes, bugs, and plants I have been eating (I ate all my canned food within a week).

Money is not valuable anymore, but it would be worth the $29 if you have it. It would even be worth a day’s amount of food. Life has been so bland the past few months, and this hot sauce helps spice it up for a few minutes while I eat. This product deserves 5/5 stars, and anyone who says otherwise has clearly not been stuck eating bugs for months on end!

If anyone else still has internet access, please buy this item. I don’t think Amazon is still doing two day shipping, but maybe you could go to an Amazon factory and just take it. (Honestly, who is buying hot sauce right now other than me?) Put the box in front of your face when you walk out, and maybe the zombies surrounding the building will think you’re one of them!

“Ha,” I snorted out. How ironic was it that my fortune told me I wasn’t the only person in the world. For all I know I was– I hadn’t seen another human in what felt like years. According to the date on my clock face, it had actually been three months and twelve days. I had been hiking through different states in the hopes of finding someone. Anyone.

I am doing this three star assignment a  Short Story telling a story with 10 random words. This assignment is called “Short Story With Random Words And Animal(S)“. You must go to this website to have 10 different words chosen at random, you must then choose an animal and use these 10 words to tell the animals story.  Here is my story:

The Zombified Kangaroo and the Fathead

The Kangaroo now a zombie hopped around like a zombie slow moving looking for the hunter. 

The hunter had a huge fathead.

The kangaroo knew it was this hunter by the muzzle loader in his hand.

The hunter had his gun harnessed and ready to shoot.

Due to the zombie problem gun carrying at all times was allowed in every state.

The Kangaroo was considered a brawler. 

The Kangaroo was bitter after being shot at earlier.

The hunter and the Kangaroo start throwing punches the hunter blocked.

The Kangaroo cradled the hunter down to the ground and nawed on his shooting arm.

The hunter started to get sick, his sickness started as a bellyache.

The Kangaroo had finally got his revenge and had turned the hunter into a zombie.

The End!!!

My Ten random words

brawler fathead bittersweet   bellyache block cradled hunter state 

harness bitter muzzle

I did this three star assingment by using a poem to paint a picture of zombies coming to attack my home, at which point I ran underground to escape them. I choose this picture because it was showing the zombie finally breaking through but I was nowhere to be found.

Bang Bang on the Door

All Zombies are wanting gore

I ran underground

Once I found out that the zombie apocalypse was inevitable, I used my Amazon Prime Student account with two day shipping to have these Bio-Terror Zombie Apocalypse Massacre Death Swords delievered before we got attacked.  These Death dealing swords have come in handy when ammunition is hard to come by.

Good thing I put in my order when I did as I think the Amazon fulllfillment center has now been ransacked by zombies and other survivors. You can read my review below:

https://www.amazon.com/review/RYXNKJSOSGPDH/ref=cm_cr_srp_d_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00NO68DCE

Complete the Write an Alternative Ending assignment by writing a new ending for one of the short stories you read this week.

And now I’m here with you, Pac. I wrote about it but didn’t remember the name.  The Tupac Shakur Foundation headquarters in Stone Mountain, replete with an arts center and a peace garden.  It’s pretty far from where you died  but it was a place you would lay your head down when you weren’t partying your heart out in HOT-lanta.  This is where I wanted to end up.  After writing about you Pac, in my book it is only fitting that we cross paths again. Jack has leaned me up next to your Bronze staute in a gangsta lean pose, so that as my body cements up I will be statuesque I will be immortalized in this position as you were.  Jack was somehow able to get cell service enough to play a Tupac song which was fitting for the situation “Keep Ya Head Up”, knowing damn well the creep was taking over and this was practically impossible to do.

Here’s the truth:  I love hip hop.   I fell in love with it while writing my book.  The thug life chose me, I didn’t chose it.  The partying and guns, the sexcapades the constant beef with other rappers.  This was a life of excitement and uncertaintity a life worth living.  Living for the moment. My life, prior to my book was nowhere near this fun or exciting until you came into my life Pac.  With my book sales I was able to move out of my cramped Brooklyn apartment into a condo in the nicer part of the city.  At this point I was closer to the thug life I greatly desired.  I sent a copy of my successful book to my sister Marie, who fell in love with it instantly.  Marie was a die hard country fan and with my book I converted her to the thug life as well.  She read my book to my niece, and would always listen to “Brenda’s Got a Baby” but would insert her name in there instead.  I called Marie prior to leaving due to the creep and we were scheduled to meet once I was able to arrive with my Posse who were traveling with me.

Life is short, Pac. I should have known that. Should have learned that from you, after watching your music video “California Love”.

“Susan,” Jumping Jack says now, in a loud demanding voice, as the plane was flying back over our location, signalling a white van to where we were located.  Jack had said a prayer followed my many Hail Marys, I could only think of the song Pac sang as he was doing this.  His prayers must have been answered the white vans with Hazmat crews showed up to save us.  The had a cure in hand and innoculated me with a small dose, until I could arrive at their lab.  I started to get some movement in my extremities and I felt less like a statue at this point, my speech was still slurred but like Pac once said “FREAK THE POLICE” I was thinking FREAK THE CREEP, in nicer cleaner words.  All I could think of is how I almost died and made it to the Thug Mansion like Pac sung about.  I was ever so glad that the vans had showed up when they had or Jumping Jack might of pulled the trigger ending my thuggish days “Life Goes On” Pac, life goes on.  The Creep will not slow me down from rollin like a thug.

After many weeks in the military infirmary I was finally reunited with Marie and my niece who had luckily made it out alive.